During this difficult time, it’s easy to focus on all of the things that we’re not able to do. I too am saddened by missed milestones, cancelled trips and the people that I live with not leaving this house every day. But, in an effort to find the always-present silver lining, I thought I would spend some time focusing on some things that I don’t miss.
The Grind
I don’t miss the military precision that is required to move three children through the world. I do not miss racing out the door, yelling at people to put their shoes on, figuring out what kind of dinner that I can make that can be eaten by five different people at five different meal times—I miss NONE of that. I miss seeing my kids play sports and the fun it brings them, but I don’t miss having my entire weekend scheduled around game times. I don’t miss the running list of items that I need for all of the upcoming school, sporting and life events. I don’t miss being a slave to the clock, having to make sure everyone has eaten by a certain time so they can be in bed or get to school—honestly, I’m not even sure if my oldest children have been eating breakfast, but they seem to be OK, so I’m going to roll with it.
The Need to Do “What’s Next”
I also do not miss the need to start planning whatever is “next.” I don’t miss thinking about who’s birthday is coming and what we’ll do or trying to figure out what our summer plans when we haven’t even made it to spring break. Let’s face it, the pressure is off and I, for one, am going to enjoy this respite. It’s also pretty enlightening to see that my kids apparently don’t care about any of those things. Sure, they miss their friends and they like to go on summer vacation as much as the next kid, but they haven’t once asked “what’s next?” or what our plans are for the near future. Maybe removing the expectations is a great lesson for all of us?
The Entire Month of May
Every mother knows the horror that is May. I will not miss one single second of May. I will not miss finding a ridiculous costume that my child will wear for ten minutes. I will not miss the 468 end of year projects that get assigned and require poster board, hot glue and some mystery ingredient that can never be found on Amazon. I will not miss the random item that needs to be sent into school EVERY week during May. I won’t miss the talent show and the end of the year picnic. I will not miss sending in one flower for the teacher appreciation bouquet—can we all agree to STOP doing this? Whomever is buying one flower may as well just by the entire bouquet for the class, since last I checked no one is bringing these blooms in from their home gardens—but, I digress. Please don’t misunderstand, I don’t want to skip the teacher appreciation. I think that anyone that has had to listen to more than five minutes of an elementary school Zoom class knows that these people are doing God’s work. If there was ever a year to really lay it on thick in your teacher appreciation card or amp up your gift giving (virtually) you’re looking at it! May is usually the stuff of mothers’ nightmares, but maybe this year we will actually enjoy it, perhaps we will even have the time to take a breath and celebrate Mother’s Day instead of squeezing it in to the chaos?
There are lots of things that I miss, but I have to admit thinking about what I’m getting to skip gives me a perverse amount of satisfaction. Soon enough the grind will start back up and we’ll all start planning what’s next for our families. But maybe we’ll do it with a little more thoughtfulness and remember that there are some really nice things about having nothing to do. And perhaps we can get something passed to permanently remove May from the calendar?