How many emotions can you experience in one day? Asking for a friend. A friend who is now feeling about as up and down as the hormonal adolescents she’s currently quarantined with on a 24-hour basis. It may not help that my friend is in her forties, has no interest in teaching, enjoys alone time and personal space.
My friend usually starts the day with a positive attitude and good outlook, she is trying to maintain a sense of calm for herself so she can show up for her people. She goes through several steps in the morning to cultivate this positive feeling. Sometimes this feeling lasts for an entire hour, but more often than not, it is torpedoed within the first five minutes of dealing with her housemates. You see, my friend had a system, it was working fairly well with only minimal amounts of rage. But that system involved only parenting and light housekeeping—oh and being an adult with a job and a life. Now my friend has to integrate many new duties into the system. The system is on overload. Let’s be honest, the system crashes several times a day.
The system re-boots, it pulls itself back together and starts processing again. Sometimes the re-boot is a deep breath, sometimes it’s hiding in the bathroom or garage, sometimes it is a very extended dog walk, sometimes it involves a drink or a baked good. Don’t judge my friend, her system is being asked to work outside of its parameters right now and it’s doing the best that it can.
The overload of the system is most likely what’s leading to the roller coaster of emotions. My friend usually starts with hope and idealism, that quickly deteriorates into anger and resentment, which can sometimes spiral into shame and hopelessness. This cycle usually runs a full course by 9:30 a.m. and then repeats throughout the day. Some days there are other fun emotions like frustration, emotional isolation and sadness. There is a lot of gratitude, humor and lightheartedness too. But my friend is having a hard time keeping up with all of the emotions, how quickly they come and go, and the uncertainty of never knowing when the next one may strike.
My friend isn’t a big fan of roller coasters in general, emotional or otherwise. She likes to feel a sense of calm and control. She enjoys lists and order and alone time –did I mention that already? She prides herself on her level head and her ability to deal fairly well with the ups and downs of life. She routinely balances family, work and the chaos of multiple children, but it turns out that none of that has prepared her for this little ride. And the fun is just beginning, she’s going to be on this attraction for a while. Much to my friend’s chagrin, she’s going to have to figure out how to enjoy this ride.
She is going to have to hold on tight. She may have to white knuckle it through some of the dips and drops. It’s possible she will feel like she’s going to lose it when the twists and turns keep coming. But my friend is a tough cookie, she’s not going to let a temporary roller coaster get her down. She’ll be OK, she may even come out of this with a new appreciation for roller coasters. Until then, she’s going to hide in the bathroom as needed and become a marathon dog walker and have a cocktail at 3:30 if she feels like it and eat cake for breakfast if necessary and take a lot of deep breaths.