Start Again

Hello my friends! After a much longer than anticipated break, I am back! I’m back to offer some (maybe) helpful insight and (hopefully) witty prose as we all navigate through the middle of motherhood. So, why the break?

Such a good question. There are so many answers but I’ll break it down to the simplest. I didn’t prioritize it. As uncomfortable as it makes me to write that, it’s even more uncomfortable to admit it. You see, I LOVE this writing–it has given me so much joy and freedom and redemption and validation. I love this writing for myself, even if no one ever reads it. So, what’s my problem?

Well, it’s possible that I may have let the angry little perfectionist that sometimes lives inside my head get the best of me. I started out wanting to make sure that the site was working correctly–it had a few issues that were bothering me. So, in an effort to get that fixed–and let’s be clear that means find someone who is not me that is qualified to fix it, I figured I’d hold off on posting new stuff. Guess what? It’s still not fixed and I’m posting this ANYWAY!

The good news is I did find someone and it should be fixed soon, the bad news is that I let the idea that it had to be perfect stop me from doing what I love. Why did I do that? Seems dumb. But, I’m guessing a lot of you know just how it goes. You’re on a roll with your exercise routine or your healthy eating or your meditation practice or your daily study of French. Then, BAM! life happens, a kid gets sick, a site goes down, you eat a bag of Cheetos. It’s OK, this is a safe space and as I’ve just clearly laid out, I’m certainly in no position to judge.

So instead, my friends I will stand as either a horrible warning or a shining example that sometimes you just have to say to heck with it and start again. I think it may be the answer to all things. Want to be a good mom but you spent half the day yelling at your children? Start again tomorrow. Wish you could actually finish reading a book for your book club? Try again next month. Want to be more present for your friends? Call one of them now and tell them you were thinking of them.

You see, I–probably just like you–have learned this lesson so many times. I get stuck in whatever rut and the minute I begin to make my way out of it, I think “that wasn’t that bad” or “I should’ve just done that weeks ago.” But, I’m not going to beat myself up about. I’m going to learn my lesson, try to remember it and resume. I feel better already. I bet if you picked up wherever you’ve left off, you would too. Start again, mamas! XO