Bring On The May-hem!
Well, here we are again staring May right in the face. It happens so quickly every year. We were just getting back on track from Christmas, and here’s May right in our business. But this year is different. This year I’m ready for you, May. I won’t be fooled by your notions of spring and the celebration of mothers. We both know that those are both ploys to catch me off guard from what you truly bring—”The May-hem”.
I have steeled myself against your ridiculous schedule and demands. I’m no longer surprised by your nonsense. Because why shouldn’t we have at least 2-3 school events a week? Dress like your favorite book character, crayon, preposition—sure, no problem. Science fair, field trips, music performances and award ceremonies yes, please! Be sure we schedule all of these things in May and could we do it smack dab in the middle of the day? Or maybe after school so that we can disrupt all of the after- school activities as well? Those activities all have their own May fun. Piano recitals, sports banquets, play-off games let’s get those in, too! And how could we forget life events? Graduations, First Communions, birthdays–there’s room for everyone in May.
It’s OK, though. I know this about May. I’m not scared. In fact, I’m excited. I’m going to dominate May this year. I see it as a gauntlet laid out by the Universe—like American Ninja Warrior, but the obstacles consist of 389 events rather than a rope climbing wall. I think the climbing wall sounds easier—it would definitely be more fun. This isn’t my first May and, if I’m being honest, I haven’t always handled previous Mays with grace. Usually my coping mechanisms are a lot of internal profanity, wine and commiserating with all of my friends about the brutality of the May-hem.
But, not this year! I’ve got my planner ready. I will utilize both paper and electronic versions for added protection. I started filling May in weeks ago, but we all know there’s a lot more to come. My May strategy is to only focus on one week at a time. Listen to me, people—DO NOT LOOK TWO WEEKS AHEAD! It’s too much. It’s overwhelming. It’s what makes you want to give up. Stay focused on only the next 72 hours, it’s the only way to survive. Also, if you haven’t already, do not volunteer for ANYTHING in May. End of the year party? Not for you. Teacher appreciation week? Don’t do it. Your May was booked solid weeks ago, trust me.
Your calendar is booked—like two or three things a week in addition to the 64 things that were in there regularly. So, repeat after me: “I’m, sorry I’d love to (chair the talent show, organize the teacher gifts, attend your child’s birthday party—insert any May activity) but I’m unavailable. You are unavailable. You have never had any less availability than you do this month. You will have to say “no.” Did you get that? You will have to say “no” or you will die—May will kill you; death by over commitment.
After you politely decline, you will have to practice not caring. You cannot care that the other moms don’t think you’re involved enough, that you missed little Suzy’s party or that you didn’t turn in your teacher appreciation haiku. You cannot care. This is May. We are under siege and it’s every woman for herself. You have to make the tough decisions and protect yourself and your sanity. Disappointed some people in May? That means you’re doing it right.
The good news about May is that it provides at least one long weekend and it’s only 31 days long. You can do this. You will have far too many things to do/buy/return, but you can do it. You were made for this level of multi-tasking and organization. Keep your head in the game. Try not to let the May-hem cloud the beauty of these events. Enjoy these milestones with your people. Take heart and know that summer break is right around the corner. Oh, you need to start planning that—you guessed it, in May! Stay strong, mamas.