It’s As Easy As Learning To Tie Your Shoe…Over And Over Again

My sweet baby is learning to tie her shoes. In the spirit of full disclosure, she is probably learning this skill at least a year later than her older siblings. We only started this process when she informed me that she was one of the only children in her class that had yet to master the art of shoe-tying.  I probably had a book on tying your shoes for my oldest, we probably attending some kind of “tie your shoes” class and had a “you can tie your shoes party.” I honestly don’t remember, but I’m sure I was much more on top of it. She is my third and final child—don’t judge me!

But this is not about my slack parenting, it’s about what this little nugget taught me while she was learning to tie her shoes. Learning to tie your shoes is not easy. It’s super frustrating, tedious and difficult to master. Which is most likely why I was avoiding it on this last go-around. This small person with her tiny fingers has to manipulate giant pieces of string in a weird pattern that makes no sense. She is frustrated. She cries. She wants to give up. She says she’s “never going to learn.” She angrily throws her new tie shoes into her closet and slams the door. I get it. Until, I peak in to check on her five minutes later and she’s leaning over trying her darndest to make that knot and pull those loops. She’s not giving up.

In that moment, I realized that what she is learning is so much more than how to secure a knot. She’s learning about herself. She’s figuring out what she’s made of. Later while we were getting ready for school, I told her that I was proud of her, not because she mastered it, but because she wouldn’t give up. I explained to her that every time you learn anything new it’s hard and you’re not good at it. I also explained that every time you quit you have to start that process all over again. So, you’re always better off to keep trying.

She was proud of herself for not giving up. She still can’t really tie her shoes well enough to wear them to school for the entire day, but she knows that one day she will. She believes that she will do it.

I’m not sure why it’s taken me three kids and a set of untied shoelaces to see the lesson here, but I never said I was a quick study. Life can be tough and tedious and make no sense. The process that you have to go through to reach your goals, be a better version of yourself or feel comfortable in your own skin is often painstaking, and you think you’ll never get there. You want to cry and throw your shoes in the closet. But, you don’t. I mean you do—but then you put those puppies back on and begin trying to figure out the loops and knots. You feel like you’re getting it and then the whole thing falls apart. But you’ve learned that if you keep trying eventually, that knot will secure. You’ll figure out. So, I’m grateful that I slacked on this last kiddo. I’m happy that I got to appreciate her process and get a glimpse of the kind of woman she will eventually grow to be. I’m most thankful that her struggle and determination reminded me to appreciate my own.