If I Can Learn From A Throw Pillow…Anything Is Possible

This is a bit of a journey but stick with me. I bought a new chair for our living room. This rendered all of my existing throw pillows useless. It also brought about hours of browsing interior design hashtags and Pinterest boards. I have spent far too much time trying to find the new, winning throw pillow combination. Thankfully, I am surrounded by loving friends that get my particular form of home decor crazy. I have sent my dear friend no less than thirty pictures of pillows and their various combinations. She has never once questioned these ridiculous photos, because she is my people. But this is not about the importance of your tribe or your people. This is about learning from what is right in front of you.

In case you haven’t been following along. I like my ducks in proverbial row and I am wildly impatient. So, when the long-anticipated chair arrived and brought with it the unfinished business of throw pillows, I was not pleased. I like things done, put together. I just basically created a new problem for myself—annoying. I get that in the large scheme of life throw pillows are beyond trivial. They literally do not matter—at all. However, in the decorating scheme of things, they are often the special little things that tie a space together. I have watched no less than ten million hours of HGTV, so I am beyond qualified to write on this subject.

So, I’m on the hunt for pillows. I have scoured every local store. I have purchased and returned twenty pillows. I have at least ten more that are being shipped from my online endeavors and… nothing works. None of them look quite right. I like them, but not with the couch AND the chairs. It’s just not meshing. So, now I have about fifteen pillows sprawled all over my living room. My family has stopped asking pillow-related questions, because they KNOW better. I ran into a mom from school while I was returning two hefty bags of pillows to HomeGoods. She for sure thinks I’m crazy, but I know what I’m doing. I’m trying to make it all fit. I’m trying to get it to all work.

Today after one last internet delivery and one final shopping trip I think I have finally achieved what I set out to do. As I was basking in my pillow glory and soaking it all in, it occurred to me that this pillow nonsense is a lot like life. I set out to do something. I have a vision in mind. It doesn’t always work out on the first try. I have to remove things, bring new things in—and it still isn’t quite right. I want to take action, to make things happen, but often the only thing to do is wait. The process is painful. I just want it to be over, so I can enjoy the fruits of my labor. That’s not how it works. You can’t force things. You can’t always find what you need at the exact right moment. Sometimes you have something great, but it just doesn’t work at the time.

Today in my final shopping trip I actually tried to re-purchase one of the first pillows I bought. The first time around, it was a definite “NO.” Now, after a couple of weeks and a couple of dozen pillows it’s regained its appeal. Now, the thing I thought wouldn’t work makes sense. If I hadn’t tortured myself with this purchasing process, I wouldn’t have really known what I was looking for—the process helped me figure it out. I hate the process. I mean, I appreciate the process and I know it’s necessary and I try to tune into it (which is how I’m able to turn a throw pillow search into a metaphor about life), but it’s not always pleasant for a doer like me.

In the middle, you are often doing all of the right things. You are focusing on what matters and being intentional and present and yet, NOTHING happens. You keep pushing forward; you try not to be frustrated. You are SO frustrated. You just don’t understand why nothing is happening–why you can’t find what you’re looking for? Until you find it. Until all the cold calls you’ve been making finally pay off and someone actually wants to speak with you. Until all of the hours you’ve spent trying to build your business pay off and you start to feel that you actually might be getting somewhere. Until all of the time you’ve spent telling your child that they’re wonderful and awesome and capable finally starts to reveal itself in the form of their very own self-confidence.

I do not anticipate it will last long. Tomorrow will bring new challenges and changes. But, for tonight, I will enjoy the fact that I closed that loop. I will recognize that sometimes all the pieces I’m given don’t fit—until they do. I will try to remember that almost nothing in this world is working on my time-table. I will take heart that moving forward is really the only choice. And I will do it all perched atop the most fabulous pillow combination you’ve ever laid eyes on!