It’s A New Year, But Why Does It Have To Be A New You?
I’m all about a New Year. I love a fresh start. New wall calendar, new planner—don’t get me started on what this does to my Type A self! I even like goal setting and reflecting on the past year; what went well and what needs work. What I don’t love is this idea that wherever we find ourselves on January 1st is a complete disaster and needs to be overhauled immediately. Like we need to scrap the whole thing and come up with a newer, better self. Why?
I’m not saying that the New Year isn’t a logical time to take a minute and see where we are. We all get so busy doing life; we sometimes find ourselves arriving at a destination not sure how or why we got there. So, by all means, take a look around. Think about what’s important to you. What big dreams do you have for this year? Maybe you’re starting a business or quitting your job to be at home with your kids? Perhaps your goals are smaller—like, you’d like to stop being late everywhere you go or keep the plants in your house alive? Whatever you determine is important to you, I wholeheartedly believe that you must make it a priority.
But, this idea that we need to fix everything that we perceive is “wrong” in January is, quite frankly, dumb. First of all, the real truth is that most of us are doing a pretty good job. Most of us hold jobs, keep a lot of human and some animal life forms alive and manage to have a friend or two that thinks we are a pretty good time. That alone is an accomplishment. This life is no joke, and, putting yourself out there to participate in so many facets of it counts. It counts. It’s an accomplishment in itself.
So, let’s first recognize that instead of everything being “wrong,” everything is mostly all right. We more than likely have everything we truly need to be happy. That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t seek or want for more; it means you’re allowed to BE happy while you seek and want for more. You’re allowed to know that you have a lot more to be and accomplish in this life, while enjoying where you are right now.
So, instead of tearing yourself apart for not working out five days a week or not finishing your great novel or drinking diet Coke—start with what’s good. What are you doing really well? Then think about how you got there. The odds are the areas in your life where you’re killing it are the ones you’ve paid attention to in the recent past. Where focus goes, energy flows—as they say. So, maybe you can find a way to focus on one or two more things this year that will bring you joy or peace or just make you feel like a rockstar?
Figure out a plan. You can’t do anything without a plan. It doesn’t need to be an Excel spreadsheet; you can write with crayon on a napkin, for all I care. But, in lives as full as ours, I can assure you, you don’t stand much of a chance without a clear plan. Next, be prepared that said plan won’t work or will need to be revised—that’s OK—it’s kind of the whole point. If your goals were easily attainable you probably would have already reached them by now. Finally, you need to be patient. That doesn’t mean you patiently wait for all of your goals to achieve themselves; that you don’t actively hustle or hold yourself accountable. It does mean that you are kind to yourself. That you take a minute to realize that all of the areas where you ARE crushing it took time. You just don’t show up with a new business in a month, you build it. You don’t just start meditating and magically never yell at your kids again. Everything is a process; a work in progress. Life, being the ultimate work in progress.
So, give yourself a break. It’s a new year, but, we don’t need a whole new you. The you you are already is pretty great. Like all great works of art, she could probably use a little tweaking. She has limitless potential and is capable of anything she sets her mind to—there’s a lot of different directions that she can go. Pick your path, make your plan and look out!