That’s easy. I’d like to be a man for just one Christmas. Now, don’t misunderstand, I’m not having a gender identity crisis. I very much love being a woman—girl power; girls rule, boys drool—I’m all about celebrating women and all of our awesomeness. However, when it comes to getting ready for Christmas, just once, I’d like to see how the other half lives.
I know I said I was not going to stress. I know I had good intentions and a well thought out plan, but that was in November. We are in mid-December now, and everything I said was clearly a lie. Almost every one of my girlfriends that I’ve spoken to in the last week is in my same boat. We want to enjoy the season, we don’t want to snap at our loved ones, have no patience and be in a perpetually bad mood—but there are SO. MANY. THINGS. TO. DO.
In my non-scientific research, none of the male counter parts of said girlfriends are feeling any stress at all. As a matter of fact, one might actually call them blissfully ignorant. It’s like they have no idea that Christmas is a) coming or b) any kind of a big deal. My girlfriend always says her husband is Santa’s biggest believer because when he wakes on Christmas morning the presents for all three of her children have, in fact, magically appeared!
If I Were A Boy
Now, let me also go on record that I LOVE men. I am surrounded by wonderful men in my life, as are most of my girl tribe. Men are amazing creatures that should be valued and appreciated. However, I would like everyone to stop pretending that men have anything to do with the organization of the Christmas holiday.
Christmas cards, Christmas pageant costumes, cookies for the cookie exchange, purchasing, wrapping and shipping all the things—our friends with Y chromosomes, are doing NONE of these activities. And, odds are they don’t know these activities exist. If they do know that they exist my guess is that they think they’re kind of “pointless” and don’t “get what the big deal is.”
Men are not worried that each kid is getting an equal amount of presents. They don’t wake up in the middle of the night wondering if they already got their mother-in-law a bathrobe last year? They have no knowledge of the intricacies of Christmas shipping and the importance of timing so you’re not waiting for the motherlode to arrive on December 23rd. They’re not aware that Amazon Prime is no longer really true after December 1st(which is an entirely different blog, but shame on you Amazon—we’ve been cool all year, really?). Men think about Christmas maybe a week prior, when they lovingly ask if there is anything you’d like for Christmas? Which either makes your day, or sends you into a fit of hysteria.
Maybe They’re Right?
I mean, tell no one that I suggested it, but maybe the men have been doing it right all of this time? Why do we women make such a big deal out of everything Christmas related? What happens if we don’t get Christmas cards out? Buy cookies instead of bake them? Give gift cards to everyone with no shame in our game? Maybe men are on to something? Why are we continually holding ourselves to such a demanding and sometimes impossible standard?
And, let’s be honest, lots of these wonderful men are perfectly happy and willing to help us. But, we make that hard. We have specific ideas in our head and don’t like to relinquish control (I mean I’ve heard some women do this). We’ve created this weird space where there are millions of very specific tasks to be completed, that we feel only we are competent to do–then we get overwhelmed and stressed— it’s a real mystery.
I wish I had the answer. I wish we could start a stress-free Christmas movement. But, the reality is I think those of us that love Christmas and have fond memories of it throughout our lives just want to re-create some of that magic for those we love. We want to keep all of the little traditions that we loved and incorporate new ones as we grow our own families. To do that, we will have to own it like millions of mothers that came before us. We have to give ourselves a break and realize that no matter how good our intentions; we will most likely have at least one freak-out in December. Something on that list won’t get done, arrive on time or will just be an epic fail.
So, my fabulous Christmas sisters, stay strong! We are in the home stretch. We’ve done this countless times before and have all made it out relatively unscathed. Be nice to the sweet men that truly don’t get why we are all so crazy. Take a deep breath and give yourself some grace. Your people will love you and Christmas no matter how many things on that list get done. Know that wine is your friend and sometimes cookies really do make you feel better. And, if you do nothing else, double-check those Amazon ship dates. Merry Christmas mammas!!