Plans are useless, but planning is invaluable. –Winston Churchill
Preach, Winston! I think one of the hardest things for us type A planners to accept is that we are truly not in control. No matter how great the plan, how thorough the preparation, things sometimes just don’t work out. Ridiculous as it may seem to us, we cannot control everything around us—and we have to just (insert cringe) deal with it.
The interesting part is, if you pay attention, you’ll begin to notice that things do not necessarily go badly. As shocking as it may seem to us, most of the time, when things don’t go our way it does not end in disaster for us. A lot of the time, as hard as it is to admit, we end up better off.
Not According To Plan
We end up better off because when we lay down our grand plans we are only able to see our perspective, our ideas. Because we do not live alone on an island (while that would sometimes be nice for like a long weekend) so many other factors derail or re-route our plan. Environmental factors, like rain on the day of your child’s outside birthday party—leaving you with 15 small people INSIDE your house—not in the plan. Personal factors, like a co-worker that is unable to help you with your joint project leaving you with the job of two people and no extra time to complete it–not in the plan. Life factors; a sick parent/child/partner, there went ALL of your plans.
While none of these things are exactly pleasant, they sometimes appear in our lives for a reason. Maybe someone would’ve hurt themselves at your outdoor birthday extravaganza? Perhaps owning your work project alone allows you to truly shine? Slowing down to take care of someone you love almost always reminds us what is really important, what truly matters.
Let It Go
Or, maybe all of these things are put in our path as fun little reminders for us to loosen up and stop trying to figure it all out? I’m not suggesting you go through life with no plan, get serious, that makes my skin crawl just typing it. Goals and plans are paramount in any endeavor. But, maybe we need to be a little more flexible when our ideas take a detour? Instead of streaming a litany of profanities in our head when we see the rain in the birthday forecast, maybe we should ask ourselves some questions. How important is this? (You’ve already read my feelings on birthday parties, so that’s an easy one). Is there another solution? The answer to this is usually always a resounding “YES!” The problem is we generally don’t like the other solutions because they were A) not our idea or B) require us to ask for help (UGH!). What am I supposed to learn? This is harder and can usually only be asked after you’ve diverted your plan. Once you realize the sky did not fall, if you take a minute, there is usually some kind of lesson to be had. Fifteen kids in your house did not make your head explode (although you’re not going to do it on the regular). Taking on a massive project by yourself was challenging, but you did it successfully and won’t be nearly as freaked out next time. Taking care of someone you love is never convenient or fun, but it makes you grateful that you can.
So, my friends, with your color-coded calendars; my sisters with alphabetized spice racks—learn to lean in. Keep your planner up to date and your closet organized by color and season, but lean in to the idea that it will not all go your way. It will not go your way. It will frustrate you, it will anger you, it may break your heart—but, it will be OK. It will be OK because what great planners do is pivot. They take a minute say all the bad words, perhaps throw some things (I mean, so I’ve heard) and then they figure it out and make a NEW plan. And, you know you LOVE to make a plan!