Everyone Needs Something To Look Forward To
Everyone needs something to look forward to in life. And, I don’t mean the regular stuff, like retirement, seeing your children grow into fully formed humans, etc. That stuff is all well and good, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about something that will happen in the near (like 12-18months) future. Something, that when you think of it or talk about it you can’t even keep the smile from gracing your face. Something, that makes YOU happy; that is purely and selfishly all about you.
I’ll go first. In approximately 52 hours (but who’s counting?), I will embark on my annual girls’ weekend. This consists of being reunited with eight of my dearest friends from college for a 72-hour period. It is MAGIC. There is no other way to describe the feeling of being with these girls. It is an amazing time when we come from all over the country, leaving behind countless children, spouses, pets and responsibilities to just be with each other.
You see, that’s part of the beauty of this trip. We do NOTHING. We do nothing but be ourselves and be with each other. Sure, we’ll go out to eat, drink too much, go shopping, maybe see some local sights. But, what we are truly doing is soaking up the beauty of being with each other. We are swimming in true love and acceptance. We are basking in the glory of focusing only on ourselves, each other and this rare opportunity to hear all of the funny/crazy/heartbreaking stories of the past year. Thanks to our pal technology, we communicate constantly; so we know what’s going on in each other’s lives. But, this weekend is our big chance. Our chance to give hugs, hold hands, laugh until we cry—in person.
We plan our trip out a year in advance. Then, we get to look forward to it—FOR A YEAR. It’s never a good time for any of us to pick up and leave. Every one of us has to make this a priority. We have to commit when there are a million and one reasons why we shouldn’t. Some, or all of us, are missing important work meetings, life events or child milestones. We all have wonderful spouses and support systems who get it. They get that this weekend is our thing. It’s our thing we look forward to, it’s our thing we get excited about months/weeks/days before it even happens. The anticipation is half of the fun.
There will be numerous texts this week about what we’re packing, the weather conditions, what kind of groceries we’re ordering and who is bringing hairdryers. These are important things. These are the little tiny details that get us all excited about sitting in a room together in our pajamas, drinking too much wine and eating too many carbs. We will all be running full speed until we get on the airplane or in the car to leave. But, once we reach that destination, we are only about each other. This is the magic. In our lives that are filled with wondrous, drama-filled, action-packed days—this is our chance to stop and breathe. Our chance to remember that we are women first.
Before we were somebody’s partner, mother, or boss; we were women and we were friends. When life’s big decisions consisted of what we would wear to go out on a Thursday night; we were friends. When we were barely formed and, let’s be honest, not even close to being adults; we were friends. We were friends who knew each other. Knew, and still know, all of the little things about each other that make us who we are. Silly things like, who hates orange, who is the most likely to get up on a stage and sing, who loves to “share” food, who talks too much (ahem), and who we can count on to make us laugh when they begin talking to strangers in a bar. Now, thanks to life and time, we know all of the big things too. We know the kind of women we really are. We know where we’ve had success and where we’ve struggled. We know how each of us handles illness, loss and grief. We know the make up of each other. We know each other’s hearts.
The hearts haven’t changed. The hearts are the same as they were in those eighteen year-old girls that met so long ago. This weekend, and what we get to look forward to, is getting to visit that special piece of our heart. The piece that makes us who we are. The piece that started forming long ago, that we’re always grateful for, but don’t necessarily take the time to acknowledge. That piece of our heart that makes us the kind of daughter/mother/partner/boss that we’re proud of. We get to take a time out and be with people that make us remember what we’re made of—this is the magic.
Maybe you don’t have a weekend? Perhaps you don’t have this network of old friends? I get it. This is a real blessing and one I’m not foolish enough to believe is possible for everyone. We are all managing families, relationships, careers and aging parents. We very rarely have the luxury of moments that belong just to us; of spaces where we can just sit and be. But, for yourself, your sanity and your heart–find something that you can look forward to. Maybe you take an art class once a month? Or schedule an adult dinner with your best girlfriend? Perhaps you go and see a movie that you’re interested in all by yourself? Schedule a minute or two that allows you to connect to the pieces of your heart. Then, look forward to it. Think about—think about what you’ll wear, how you’ll get there, what it will feel like once you are in the middle of it. Allow that anticipation to get you excited and nervous and happy. Know that making yourself a priority, even for an hour, a day, a weekend—is really important. Find something to look forward to; I promise you won’t be disappointed.