Why Pinterest, Why?

Dear Pinterest Crazed Teacher,

I applaud you for your zeal and ingenuity. I too enjoy a good Pinterest browse—usually after a glass(es) of wine. However, I do not appreciate your enthusiasm for crafting and all things craft being imposed upon me and my family. I also do not appreciate your egregious assumption that I have crafting supplies on hand for your various and sundry spontaneous crafts.

I’m just saying, when I went to school there were maybe one or two times a year when we had to “dress up” and by that, I mean wear something nice, not dress like an animal or your favorite book character or a historical figure, or your favorite game show host, blah, blah, blah. That was the extent of it for parents, pull out the holiday or church attire, show up for some kind of super cute performance and be done. Everyone is precious, we’ve all had a super cute moment; mission accomplished.

But, not anymore! We’ve upped the ante significantly. Kids used to be able to write a report, draw a cute cover and call it a day. Now, they must whittle something out of wood that represents your favorite adjective, paint a canvas that depicts Egyptian hieroglyphics or throw a pot that resembles Abraham Lincoln. And, of course, they do this all by themselves, with no parental involvement—sure, right.

What is happening here? Am I the only person that is wishing for less? Do all of the other parents of school-aged children truly have nothing better to do than troll the aisles of Michael’s or Hobby Lobby looking for ingredients to create the perfect costume/school project??

Let’s just take into consideration the time and money involved in the “simple” school project. My favorite is when the ask you to “just use things around the house” to create this masterpiece. Unfortunately, I have OCD and a hatred of crafts, so I do not have an excess supply of pipe cleaners, rope, puffy paint, modge podge, or whatever the heck it is you’re asking me to include in this most fabulous “simple” recreation of the Ark or the Pilgrims landing. I’m fresh out of twine, googly eyes and a full Civil War costume—Please, just don’t.

Look, let me break it down to you, sweet, adorable, imaginative teacher, that has no children of her own yet. I have more than one child; I don’t have a magical craft supply closet. So, every time you ask me to participate in one of your “simple” crafts, it requires a trip to the store and a very uncomfortable and stress filled crafting session. I’m cursing you as I pay the $20, $30, $40 dollars that I may as well light on fire. We’ll make something fabulous, one or all of us will be crying , but it will get done. I will hate you with all of my heart for a brief period, but I’ll probably get over it. I love you for wanting to do something fun and crafty, I do. I just want you to do it AT school with YOUR OWN supplies.

Sweet teacher, I’d ask you to evaluate your relationship with Pinterest and “easy” crafts. Maybe it’s time you take a break? Maybe you don’t need to post the cutest elementary school crafts done by your “awesome first graders” and be the envy of all your crafty teacher colleagues? I care about you and truly appreciate all you do for my child and all the other little children. My heartfelt wish for you is that when you one day have a child of your own, they attend an educationally stellar school with teachers who are completely apathetic toward home-based crafts, because I’m a giver and a forgiver. You’re welcome.