I Need A Minute

I really just want to leave the house and maybe have a drink…

When taking care of smaller humans is part of your daily responsibilities; it’s easy to forget what makes you an individual person. Sure, you’re responsible for keeping them from harm and generally alive, and that’s an important job. But, what about you? What’s your favorite song? Read any good books lately? How do you feel about the new menswear inspired jackets for fall? These are the questions that no one is asking.

Let Me Out

So, sometimes, I just want to leave my house and have a drink. I want to take my time and get dressed, put on make up, even do my hair. Then, leave the house and go out into the world with the other “people.” I want to go to a non-school related event where no one asks me about children. These world “people” don’t know me and probably can’t even tell (unless I’ve made the unfortunate choice to wear a mid-drift –NEVER) that I have any children. I can just be a person in a bar/restaurant.

Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not doing this secretly or because I’m unhappy in my every day life. There’s usually a very handsome husband (feel free to insert an equally awesome friend or partner of your choice) and a baby sitter involved. I’m not trying to do this several nights a week. I’m lucky if I can even do it once. But, there is something to the anonymity of leaving your reality behind.

How You Doing?

The business of taking care of people, no matter what their age or size is, by nature, a selfless one. No one ever asks the nurse taking their blood pressure how she’s feeling today. You don’t check to see how your dentist is moving along on his path to spiritual awakening. You just accept the care and move on. I’m sure you’re grateful, you’re not an animal. You just don’t pay any real attention to the person giving the care because it’s not how the care giver/ care recipient relationship is set up.

This is why I need to leave my house and have a drink. It’s my chance as an individual human person for someone to ask me about my day, my path to spiritual awakening, my feelings on this year’s Oscar nominees. I take this opportunity whenever it is afforded me. I often decline other engagements and make special arrangements for this glorious thing to happen. It’s important to me.

All Me

This does not make me a selfish or a self-absorbed person. It makes me a person who values themself. I value things that bring me joy. I want the people I’m taking care of to see this and know it’s ok to do the same. You can and should make yourself a priority.

Now, I’m not suggesting you forego your life’s responsibilities. I’m not even suggesting you have to leave your house and have a drink. You could bake a cake, take a walk, practice yoga, binge watch Bravo, carve something out of a bar of soap. I’m not judging what brings you joy—kindly return the favor. I’m merely suggesting that you intentionally set aside some time for yourself where you can take a break and just be.

Sometimes, in the act of taking care of everyone else, we completely forget ourselves. I tell my kids the most important relationship they’ll ever have is with themselves because I believe it to be true. So if I believe it, I’ve got to make time for this fabulous broad that is me. I need to get dressed up and take her out once in a while. I need remind her that she is fun, intelligent, important as an individual person. Maybe we’ll talk about books or art—or maybe we’ll just sit back, have a drink and discuss the merits of the menswear inspired jacket for an hour or two.